The love that time forgot
by Sakura Usagi
Summary: Rated for violence (self inflicted) Yaoi Heero/duo Heero wakes up from EW while Duo wastes away, what will happene between them, can their relationship ever survive now that the war is over? Read to find out


The love that time forgot  
  
Sakura Usagi  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'll never hurt anyone ever again……I don't…have to anymore…" The words slipped from Heero Yuy's voice as darkness enveloped the once perfect soldier. "Heero!" Relena's voice rang out against the chaos. Her arms circled around him holding him.  
  
In the battlefield where Duo still sat inside Deathscythe hell, His widened and a hand clutched his chest. "Heero? Dajibu desu ka koibito? S'allright, you'll be safe…she'll save you…she always does" A pained smile spread across his face like a grimace.   
  
It was nearly a month later that Heero woke up in a hospital. He hated hospitals. The way they always smelled of antiseptic that hid the stench of death. The way the white walls hid pain inside them, why was he here? Duo wouldn't have brought him here. He knew how much his lover had hated hospitals. The only other person it could be was…. Relena.  
  
She didn't know enough about him to know not to bring him here. He got out of the bed and headed towards the dresser. Inside was his green tank top and spandex shorts. Over top of both was a single black rose. Relena wouldn't have left it there. Only one person he knew of saw the beauty in that…Duo. His friend, and his lover. The person who had ever gotten close to his heart.  
  
Where was he now? Then the worst possible scenario crossed his mind. What if while he had been gone…something had happened to him? Then the worst possible scenario for that moment happened…Relena walked in. She looked the Japanese man. A smile lit her features and her eyes lit up.  
  
"Heero you woke up!!" She clasped her Hands together. "It's been nearly a month since the war ended…it's nearly the end of January." Heero's eye narrowed. January he had been asleep for a month!!? She continued as if he wasn't even there. " Do you like the room? I picked it out myself." She walked over to the window and continued speaking. "The view is lovely and just smell the air." She took in a deep breath that made Heero want to gag.  
  
She walked back over to Heero. "That braided pilot…." Heero narrowed his eyes. His voice felt hoarse when he forced Duo's name out through his teeth. "Duo?" "Oh yes" she waved a dismissing hand. "He wanted to take you out into the country at some little house he said that you would like." She furrowed her brows. "I made sure security took care of him though. They carted him out of here so fast it was a blur." Heero's eyes turned to ice. Still Relena kept going.  
  
"As if he knew what you needed? But I knew, I always have." She looked over at him theirs eyes meeting. "Don't you just love it here? It smells so fresh and clean." This finally made the soldier snap. "Where. Is. Duo.?" The words were spoken with such controlled malevolence that Relena's eyes turned huge. Her voice was suspicious. "Why do you care so much about him?"   
  
Heero weighed his words for a long moment before answering. "You're asking why I are so much about him right?" Relena nodded as her eyes narrowed. "Because Relena…simply and truly…. I love him." Her jaw dropped and disgust filled her face. "You love him, you're both men and you-you" "We're lovers now, if you'll excuse me, I must go find him."   
  
Without even looking at her he brushed past the woman whose ideals he had fought for and whose heart she had fought for.  
  
Duo Maxwell stared at the empty cottage house. Heero should have been here, with him. But no that stupid bitch had…Heero was probably wasting away like some damned vegetable. He lay down in the very large very empty king-sized bed. The bed Heero and He had bought last year when they had decided to move in together.  
  
This was where Heero should have been. But he wasn't. Probably never would be. If he ever woke up. His lover had always hated hospitals, the way they smelled, the way they were bank white walls, but especially the way they hid pain.  
  
If he ever woke up from that coma, then, Relena would confront him. Probably didn't even remember the man who was waiting for him. Duo mused and hours passed like minutes. He was nothing more than a machine now. Day and night were all the same. He ate only when he had to. Breakfast sometimes a small lunch and meager dinner.  
  
Life without Heero wasn't really life, at least not one that he was ready to live anyway. So each day he became a little bit thinner. Ate a little less. Life became transparent. Less like life. Before the war everything had been black and white- good and bad. Now everything had faded to gray.  
  
Duo couldn't decide which was worse. That scared him. Since when had he become so damned dependent on the perfect soldier? A tiny voice at the back of his mind answered him in a mocking tone. The day when you let him in you heart let him see your soul Duo grimaced.   
  
He wanted to deny it, say that was wrong, and say that wasn't right. To say that would be to lie. Heero had seen his soul scarred as it was. Heero had been the first to say that he was beautiful. He had said it again, and again, and again. Had never relinquished the love.   
  
For that Duo had let himself be loved. Heero had not tried to capture him, put him gilded cage. He had embraced all of him. The wild feral beauty as well as the dark sordid side that lingered. For that Duo had let himself be loved and had loved back with a heart as true as the sky.  
  
For that he would never again love. For that he would not kill himself. He stared at the deep scars that ran across his arms, vertical, horizontal and diagonal. He had cut before, had stopped when Heero found out.  
  
  
  
  
"Duo? Are you here?" Heero walked into the dorm that he and Duo shared. The quiet hat engulfed the room was not peaceful as usual but thick with tension. Sniffing, he could smell the scent of blood. "Duo?" He called again. When there was no answer he drew his gun, quietly shutting the door behind him.   
  
Listening for any sound, he thought he could hear something coming from the bathroom. After hearing something once, he waited for a second time and heard it clear as a bell. It was the sound of something being dragged across flesh.  
  
Heero vaulted across the room and into the bathroom only to drop his gun in utter shock and horror. There sat duo on the sink. His arms were covered in the scars of old cuts and at that moment he was finishing dragging a knife across his wrists. His eyes were wide, unseeing.  
  
The blood welled and ran down his arms in rivers. Heero was mesmerized by it. Then a single drop hit the floor, when it dropped it was in reality no louder than a single drop of rain. To Heero it echoed for what seemed like hours. Shaking his head he ran to a closet and pulled out towels, flannels, and the first aid kit.   
  
He got back into the bathroom to see the floor. It covered in tiny rivulets of blood. They speckled across the floor like tiny drops of crimson water. At this point a small puddle was right under Duo's left wrist. "Duo!" The American simply looked at Heero not answering. Heero rushed over and wrapped the towel around Duo's nude form.  
  
The boy was pale. Too pale, it was blood loss. Heero knew that but still shook as her wrapped the flannels around his writs keeping them I place with surgical tape and using wipes to clean off the rest of his arms.  
  
The flannels unfortunately, weren't enough to stop the blood flow. Heero cursed. "Dammit Duo how deep did you cut yourself!?" Duo did not answer and his eyes did focus. Heero took pads out of the kit and then placed those on the wrists. He was immensely gratified when the pads did not turn red.   
  
Duo yawned his eyes closing sleepily as he fell over on his side, curled up in a protective ball. He had woken up several hours later to a frightened and enraged Heero. "Duo. Wake up." The American sat up stiffly noting the gauze on his wrists. He would have just rolled over and gone back to sleep but there was in nobody in hell that would ignore a Heero that was that pissed off.  
  
"What were you doing Duo?" Duo played the defensive; if Heero wanted a fight it was a fight he would get. "What did it look like I was doing?" Heero growled. Duo's face became the mask that he wore so perfectly. When Heero spoke again it was a quiet voice. "Were you trying to kill yourself Duo?" Duo responded truthfully. "Yes…No…Maybe? I don't even know anymore Heero. By causing myself pain then they leave me alone." He shuddered as voices inside of his mind started to assault the American boy.  
  
They were the voices of those he killed, of those he left, of those who left him. Each one was different and yet they were all the same. They all tortured him, so exquisitely. Duo welcomed them at times. That was the only way he could remember Father Maxwell and Sister Helen's voice. If the voices were being particularly vindictive he would even hear Solo's voice.  
  
Duo hung his head down as the voices started cascading down on him like a waterfall. He couldn't see the way Heero's eyes lost that coldness, the way they filled with pity. What he could hear threw him completely off guard. "Do you really want to die that much…?"   
  
Duo's voice was bitter, filled with pain of having everyone he loved taken from him. "Why not?? It's not as if anybody here would really care if I died!! Hell it'd be good news!!" Heero's voice was raw and hoarse when he spoke again. "I'd care if you died." The American's head shot up so fast that Duo knew he'd have whiplash.  
  
His voice was controlled, a mixture of curiosity, bitterness, love and fear. "Why would you care if I…if I died?" He looked at Heero and was responded by being able to look into eyes as pure as fresh now. A gasp left his mouth as he recognized the feelings, which swirled in those depths.  
  
There was love in those depths. Not lust but pure un-adulterated love. It surrounded Duo pulling him in on tendrils that didn't try to capture him. They were threads which Duo could have easily broken out of…the funny thing was though, he didn't want too.   
  
Duo surrendered to Heero right there, heart body and soul. All belonged to him, and him alone. It was later that night when they lay together simply lying together that Heero broached the subject. "Duo" he started taking one of Duo's lithe hands in his own and kissing the knuckle. "Promise me something…" "What?" "Don't hurt yourself anymore?" "Why not?" Heero shot up so fast that Dupo gasped.  
  
"Duo, this wasn't just some…some…some one night stand. I love you now and forever! I don't know what I would do if something happened to you…" Duo's eyes filled first with anguish and then with solemnity. "Of course…I won't hurt myself anymore…"  
  
  
  
  
Duo ran a thumb gently over the wrists. He wouldn't cut himself. But he would waste away, slowly. Punishing him self forever falling in love. Heero belonged to Relena she had a soul untainted by war, by death. She had seen horrible things but she could cleanse Heero. Show him a world without war. A world he had helped to secure.   
  
A world Duo would never understand, a world where he could never survive. So he ate a little less each day. Became a little weaker. Faded more and more into what was, what had been. Had. Such a small word, it made such a difference. It told of a past where life had been true.  
  
Now it spoke of a shattered heart, crumbling kingdoms and a future that had never really ever become reality. It told of a past where even as the war had raged and men had died each day. A time when families where ripped apart without second notice. A world where two people with only hope as their guide had loved. Their love had flourished but now- Duo thought sardonically- the love which had burned so brightly it could never die, had done just that. The last dying ember of a bonfire died into the night.  
  
Heero stood outside the gate of the small cottage, which Relena had spoken so disdainfully of. It was a lovely place. Small gardens out front it looked like it was right out of a painting. This is where Duo was. It had to be. Heero was worried for his koi. Duo wasn't as stable as he pretended to be.  
  
The scars, which covered his arms, were proof of that. Heero walked into the house and dropped his bag. "Duo! Are you here?" Heero furrowed his brows. If Duo were here would have called, snored…raced out to his lover. Especially the latter, after more than a month, Heero was worried. Another memory surfaced in his mind.   
  
"Duo? Are you here?" Heero walked into the dorm that he and Duo shared. The quiet hat engulfed the room was not peaceful as usual but thick with tension. Sniffing, he could smell the scent of blood. "Duo?" He called again. When there was no answer he drew his gun, quietly shutting the door behind him.   
  
Listening for any sound, he thought he could hear something coming from the bathroom. After hearing something once, he waited for a second time and heard it clear as a bell. It was the sound of something being dragged across flesh.  
  
Heero vaulted across the room and into the bathroom only to drop his gun in utter shock and horror. There sat duo on the sink. His arms were covered in the scars of old cuts and at that moment he was finishing dragging a knife across his wrists. His eyes were wide, unseeing.  
  
The blood welled and ran down his arms in rivers. Heero was mesmerized by it. Then a single drop hit the floor, when it dropped it was in reality no louder than a single drop of rain. To Heero it echoed for what seemed like hours. Shaking his head he ran to a closet and pulled out towels, flannels, and the first aid kit.   
  
He got back into the bathroom to see the floor. It covered in tiny rivulets of blood. They speckled across the floor like tiny drops of crimson water. At this point a small puddle was right under Duo's left wrist. "Duo!" The American simply looked at Heero not answering. Heero rushed over and wrapped the towel around Duo's nude form.  
  
The boy was pale. Too pale, it was blood loss. Heero knew that but still shook as her wrapped the flannels around his writs keeping them I place with surgical tape and using wipes to clean off the rest of his arms.  
  
The flannels unfortunately, weren't enough to stop the blood flow. Heero cursed. "Dammit Duo how deep did you cut yourself!?" Duo did not answer and his eyes did focus. Heero took pads out of the kit and then placed those on the wrists. He was immensely gratified when the pads did not turn red.   
  
  
"Duo!? Koi are you here?" Heero was panicking now. If Duo had killed himself the Japanese man would never forgive him self. He ran through the downstairs and then up the short flight of stairs, stopping dead in tracks as he reached the top.  
  
He had found Duo, but whether he was dead or alive wasn't exactly the easiest question to answer. The braided boy lay across the floor, a silver framed picture of him self and Heero grasped in his hands. Heero rushed over. Feeling for a pulse he nearly cried in happiness when he found one.  
  
It was rather weak but still there. He shuddered at how cold the young man was but gently tried to pry the picture out of Duo's hands. His braided lover would not consent however. He cried out. "No Heero! Please don't leave me… I need you…please" The Japanese mans heart bleed as Duo cried out even in his sleep.  
  
Doing the only thing he knew he started speaking softly. "It's okay Duo. I'm here, I'll never remember? I promised. Shhhh." Instead of having Duo fall back into deep sleep Violet eyes popped open. When he spoke his voice was hoarse. "Is that really you Heero?" "Yes love." Heero could only steady him self as Duo latched on crying. "I didn't think you'd come back oh god! I didn't think you'd come back Heero, and I loved you so much. I couldn't bear it…"  
  
  
2 YEARS LATER  
Heero wiped his rather sweaty palms on the sides of his black tuxedo. For he and Duo's anniversary he was bringing them out to the best restaurant in town, Duo's favorite. The Clau mi dines. It was French, and a lovely place. Heero had bought one of the floors so that he could have Duo all to him self.  
  
Duo walked out of the cottage which they still lived in, dressed up as well. He walked into he car and they drove off towards the restaurant. As they sat down Duo gasped. "Theres like nobody here! Usually this floor is packed…it has the best view." Heero's Prussian eyes twinkled with a light only Duo could ever light.  
  
"There isn't anybody here because I bought the floor out." Duo's jaw dropped. It took him nearly a half-hour to get his voice back. An all-time Duo high. Dinner went usual enough as did desert.   
  
Heero took a deep breath as the waiter took the last dishes away. "Duo" he said, producing a small white box and going down on one knee. "I said once that I would love you forever…and I want to know…if you'll have me?" He opened the box and heard Duo's gasp. Duo gingerly took the box and looked at the ring, which was concealed inside.  
  
It was just as Heero had imagined. The ring was a silver band with two black opals surrounding a jade stone. His heart beat wildly as Duo looked back at him. Heero could his hands trembling as he slipped the ring on his hand and said in a wavering voice. "I could never say no to you Heero, and now is now exception…" Heero jumped up holding him close as the love of his life pledged to be his forever.  
  
  
A.N.  
Umm this is probably just going to be a stand-alone fic. However...if I get reviews with people asking for a sequel, who am I to say no?? Please as always review!! Excuse the lack of updates on Pain in my heart!!! I have the worst writers block ^^;;  
so updates on that are on hold for a time. Updates on anything are going to be getting smaller as we are moving in someplace new. Updates will be less than they are now ove the summer, but By the end of July everything SHOULD be back to new.  
  
Eiko: dont mind her, shes just in a ranty mood...  
Sakura- am. not.  
Eiko: Are. too.  
Sakura. AM. NOT.  
Eiok: ARE. TOO.  
Sakura: AM NOT!!!  
Eiko: well just aske Shini, isnt sh in a ranty mood shini?  
Shini:...yes, for once Eiko IS right   
Sakura: . 


End file.
